Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am human

Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am human
Mistakes and problems are part of the territory
Dreams and hope are what derives the nuisance
Of a world who constantly denies my stories
I look out the window for the definition
Of a man, but I can’t see past the reflection
Who is that failure? Do I cater to attrition?
The war the never ends is the reason I’m pessimistic
My ambition is never met with reality
The opportunities? What opportunities? That train I missed it
Because I regularly victimize my existence
And I really do not know who is there to listen
I continually create conundrums, watch my care crumble
What makes sense anymore? One does not simply be humble
With experiencing something excruciating
You know something like doubt
I was never warned of those sunny days I’ve been waiting
On, behind those grey clouds
Are a figment of my hallucination, and nothing more
What can I grab on to keep me sane? I just got my words
And when I decenter myself from my thought
I can see the sunshine and the hint of joy it brought
That glimpse of smile on infant that in that instant
Lived in a third world country in the United States
See my heritage is American, but here I’m a Unitedstatesian
My merits might be unbearable, but I was too an alien
My legality didn’t matter, but my ideas cause a stir
I repress my solitude, allow a new attitude to bear
My past, cuz I swear it was nothing but a blur
This caged bird with broken wings can taste the free air
Yet this prison is what I called home
If I leave my designated space, what would become of me?
Is there more than to be alone?
Philosophizing ain’t nothing but a barrier, see
I stay put, kick it and somehow I’m fed
But I need to see if the world is really dead
At least that’s what amoral authority said
So I can’t stay in place antagonizing my feelings
A confident step to forget myself to reach my ceiling
I got whole lot of potential it ain’t even good
If I can’t help my people in the hood
In the dumps, in the slums, in selected domains
I fight with them because I know their pain
I’m to here to help you, man; Whatever you want me to do, ma’am
I meant I’m able to relate because we are all human

My People's Song

Some days I sit, starin' out the window Watchin' this world pass me by Sometimes I think theres nothin' to live for I almost break down and cry Somtimes I think I'm crazy I'm crazy, oh so crazy Why am I here, am I just wasting my time? But then I see my [people] Suddenly I'm not crazy It all makes sense when I look into [their] eyes This is currently what I feel. As I inch closer to graduation there comes an end to an era. I cannot help be to look in retrospect. There is a greater thought in my mind than my failures. It is on repeat and its taking a toll on me. There really isn’t another thought in the vicinity that overtakes me. So when I heard Hailey’s song, I just sit and think and “watch the world pass me by.” No one sees me, everyone is living their life, and rightfully so. It’s like I trapping myself to these thoughts and I let other things pass me. And I am not going to lie, there have been a few times that I just want to cry. I do break down but out of pride, I don’t let my self weep. So being so lost in my failures, I do think that I wasted my time. I wasted theirs. It was all a waste because I did not amount to anything. At least that’s my take. But then my spirits are lifted. “But then I see my [people].” Man, that’s all it takes. One hug from a kid on the block. One text from the high school students. Unexpected, encouraging words from my peers. I take all that to heart. That’s when I know I must being doing something right. Every thing I do is for my people and nothing else. That’s why that last line is perfect for me. “It all makes sense when I look into [their] eyes.” So when Eminem sings “Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders Everyone's leanin' on me,” I do have a burden to take but I do not carry it by myself. It’s all better when I see that my people are doing better.

Maybe

All I really yearn for is to be accepted
By my people, for my people dreams resurrected
I ain’t trying to be prophetic
I haven’t written anything in hieroglyphics
But for some reason it’s hard to get my message
My struggle ain’t worth being told, or is it?
Maybe I was meant to be alone
Maybe I don’t got a place to call home
Maybe I’m pursuing something inexistent
Maybe my view of the world is tinted
Maybe no one cares about my beliefs
Maybe you will when it becomes the death of me
It’s kind of hard to translate what I feel
My language is underlined by what’s real
I look in the eyes of my people
Look of despair makes me desperate
I woke up this morning not knowing I was a hero
To bring my community up will make me restless
Sacrificial acts are intuitive, derived from the soul
Sometimes I wish I knew something I did not know
Maybe I will remain the unsung fallen hero
Maybe I will let down those who keep hope
Maybe my dream will cease to exist
Maybe pain and sorrow will always persist
Maybe I will become a simple afterthought
Just as easy to say maybe, I say maybe not