2009

Before I write this post revisiting this past year I have to listen to the Lakers Championship song by Jay Rock.

One Moment Please.

So back to '09. Let me see. I think I like the ESPN thing I did last year and this is the end of the decade as well.

Moment of the Year: My family leaving the house I have ever lived for another apartment. I am not going to lie but I was quite pissed off about it. I mean after living in the same apartment since I moved to LA, basically my who life, I move into a house for like a few years and then leave. I hate this damn economy. I really do. It is frustrating because I want to help my parents too but I can't.

Player(s) of the Year: This will go out to the person I could count on this year. To be honest there is no one that jumps out. But I will give this to my parents as they both have supported me in tough times although I have clashed with them, but their love for me is as certain as the air I breathe.

Team of the Year: Idk man, it could be APT. 15, could be the Asians, could be the Cousins, but I will go with Karaoke!!! The chemistry is off the charts! I give it to them because I know I can be who I really am with great people and people with great convictions I might add. To add to this group, our last karaoke sesh of the year we posted a 100(!!!!!) on singing "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. That is truly epic.

I can't think of any more awards so I will keep on typing.
So lets see the good and the bad.

First the bad.
Dodgers lost to Phillies again in the NLCS. FUCK THE PHILLIES!!!
Donovan missed a penalty in the finals.
And can't forget that Mexico beat the US twice and now all of Mexico thinks they are better (not really).
Mentioned my move.
Picked up some habits.
Tore my meniscus.
Didn't get into the Comm major.
Still do not have a church
Economy ruined my plans on going through all Central America.
Jaderi, an 11 year old girl I knew thru rec., died.
Was told some unfavorable news at the end.
I felt I lost my ability to write as good as I once did.

The Good.
LAKERS ARE CHAMPS ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!! KOBE!!!!!!!!
I finished my first year in college.
My family and friends still love me. They better.
Met a lot of new and cool peeps.
I touched Talib Kweli's hand at his concert.
My cousin visited me from Guatemala this summer and went to the Barcelona game. (VIVA EL MADRID!!!).


This year I have done my own thing regardless of friends, parents or anyone else. I have been more stubborn and prideful than ever before. Maybe that is why I think the negative seems to outweigh the positive. But the blessing of me being alive and have family and friends by far supersedes all the apparent bad brought onto this year.

Now the decade.
I enjoyed this decade and it coincides well with me turning 20 at the end of this year and decade. So from me being 10-19 and 10 days being 20, school has been a drag but I wouldn't give it up for all the people I met and things I have learned. These are things I keep dearly to myself. I felt like I have become an educated mind as well with wanting to be a rebel of sorts. I want to be like the man I look up to most MLK. I want to make change for the good like he did. Don't forget who his role model was. He is mine too. No matter how bad I might mess up. Lakers won 4 championships, Kobe is the best in the decade. I could make so many Laker references but all you need to know is I bleed purple and gold. Guatemala almost made the World Cup in 05 (the year of qualifiers) but MEXICO LOST TO TRINIDAD (there is a conspiracy since Mexico were cool with Trinidad and Tobago) AND TRINIDAD WENT TO THE WORLD CUP BY BEATING SORRY BAHRAIN!!! I don't think I can ever forgive the Mexican National Team. I got a car. I seen most of my cousins from Chi-Town and Rhode Island and Guatemala this decade. RIP to my cousin Daniel and my Aunt Siomara. Rip to my Mamaita and my Papa Beto. RIP to my Tio Mundo. RIP to Steven's great grandfather. RIP to Jessenia's grandpa in Mexico. Damn there is honestly to much to write and to remember and to honor during this decade so I think I will finish by saying this. The best this decade is that I have a Fire and it won't burn out. (hint: think why I would capitalize "Fire")

Conviction in every sentence

It has been kinda long
since I have been thinking of when I will be gone
but for now I have the world on my palms
so exhilarating yet I remain calm
Feeling better than if I was ever on
no need for a bong or a ganja hit
I promised my pop and my mom
That I will always remain conscious
I'm always ticking cuz I am bomb
ready to explode, never to implode
no matter if life becomes difficult
even if the feeling prolongs and I am miserable
I am destined to belong to God's miracle
I know that the river flows crimson
That is why I am on a mission
regardless of opponents and their opinions
I'm feeling like this is the best I have written
So I spark lightness in the darkest pit
Its a start for righteousness so marvelous
so just sit there and listen
My engine runs on conscience
forget the pros and the cons
Just go ahead and ponder on
what's right or wrong
remember there is no such thing as greatness
for man, cuz we don't deserve the praises
center of attention on a daily basis
Come on and lose the demeanor of racist
and appreciate the races and the faces
because the people are the oasis
on this world we hope on
to keep on with more songs
where beauty belies during dawn
and where it actually rests in the heart
yet it is not everyone brings into arms
Whatever it is, I know I am looked upon
Is it my intellectual ability?
I mean my imagination bewilders me
It more than being romantic and wanting an ideal future
that I dream of, it is to yearn and to long
for a sacrificial act, so I can soothe you
Nothing superficial, You are the one I will give the key to
I am the balance saying you can dream and don't forget the feet beneath you
I do it for people cuz they are regal
But realize those who are lethal and deceitful
The one's that want to me make to revolt
Not wanting a recount or a revote
Cuz they left those with their feet cold
I want to make them fly like eagles
As I give it all out, there is no doubt
What I am about, I think I am allowed
to say my life is tremendous
and the conviction is there in every sentence

What has become of my gift

I'm growin' cold, not yet frozen
My moment no longer is golden
My breath, like my grudge, I'm holdin'
When will I allow myself to see light?
I just don't know when
When again will I realize my words are still potent
I lost melody, life ain't harmonious
It's not like I'm owning this
This being opportunity
When can I get it's you and me
But I guess I'm selfish
Yet I know where to go when I'm helpless
But I feel like chasing dreams have no point
Like if there was no meaning to MLK's voice
I know I have a Flame that won't go out
I need help to set a wildfire and let love sprout
If this sounds stupid and senseless
Just know, like you, I've lost interest
Or is it inspiration?
I nearly forgot of that sensation
Of burning inside to keep warm and glowin'
To keep me from ever goin' frozen
Like this piece of poetry
I am feeling quite incomplete
Lack of structure and my soul suffers
An artery rupture and who is there to aid and comfort?
I don't feel like asking God
Cuz I feel like I am a fraud
It is what it is
Yet I await a spiritual lift
To accompany my once lyrical bliss
The belief of being able to touch
with this gift